touchnovel Chapter 43: The Recruitment Scene – This Resume is a Bit of a Waste of Paper
Chapter 43: The Recruitment Scene – This Resume is a Bit of a Waste of Paper
Before the excitement at the Three Crossings Ferry had even died down, a long table made of soul-nourishing wood was set up at the entrance of the Supreme Court of the Underworld.
Chu Jiang sat behind the table with his legs crossed, next to a gleaming sign with a job posting written in cinnabar.
"We are sincerely recruiting top talent! The Supreme Court of the Underworld, a permanent position! Enjoy five social insurances and one housing fund, guaranteed job placement, river-view dormitory, 13th-month bonus at the end of the year, and outstanding employees will even have the opportunity to receive 'Child of Destiny' reincarnation package stock options!"
The witty and provocative lyrics of "GG" caused the ghosts queuing on the Bridge of Helplessness to crane their necks, and the queue instantly turned a corner, completely blocking the entrance to the courthouse.
"Don't push, one at a time, take a number and fill out your resume first!" Bruch, dressed in a sharp suit and wearing gold-rimmed glasses, maintained order with an air of importance.
The first person to squeeze to the front of the table was an old man, thin as a monkey, wearing a tattered Taoist robe. His goatee twitched, and he had shifty eyes; he didn't look like a good person at all.
"Name?" Chu Jiang asked without looking up.
"This humble Taoist priest is Shen Gongbao."
Chu Jiang paused in his writing, looked up, and sized him up. "Special skill."
Shen Gongbao chuckled and lowered his voice: "I am not good at fighting, but I have many friends and people in the Three Realms give me some face. In addition, my words are quite effective; sometimes, if I give someone advice, they are likely to suffer bad luck."
Chu Jiang's eyes lit up. Wasn't this the perfect "public relations manager" and "risk control expert"? A top talent specializing in handling medical disputes and malicious negative reviews!
"You're hired!" Chu Jiang stamped "Approved" on the resume with a "slap." "Start immediately. The position is Chief Risk Officer. The probationary period is three months. You will be responsible for handling customer complaints and maintaining order on-site."
"Thank you, Dean!" Shen Gongbao grinned, revealing two rows of yellow teeth, and stood behind Chu Jiang with a smug look on his face.
"Next!" Bruch shouted.
A towering, muscular man squeezed through the crowd, carrying two gleaming broad axes. When he stood in front of the table, the ground wobbled three times.
"My name is Li Kui!" the burly man roared. "My specialty is chopping people up! Anyone who dares to challenge me, I'll chop them up! Dean, what kind of official position will you give me, dangdang?"
Chu Jiang frowned. "We live in a society governed by the rule of law; we value rules, not violence."
"What the hell? Rules?" Li Kui slammed his axe on the table, making the writing brush, ink, paper, and inkstone jump around. "My axe is the rule! If you don't give me an official position, I'll tear down this lousy government office!"
As he spoke, he picked up the axe, ready to strike.
The ghosts present were so frightened that they retreated repeatedly.
Before Chu Jiang could speak, Shen Gongbao, who was behind him, approached with a smile and cupped his hands in greeting to Li Kui.
"Fellow Daoist, please wait a moment."
The voice wasn't loud, but it had a sinister quality to it.
Li Kui paused, his axe raised, and turned to glare at Shen Gongbao: "You skinny monkey, what do you want from me!"
No sooner had he finished speaking than, for some reason, his left foot tripped squarely over his right.
"Ouch!"
The burly man, weighing over a hundred pounds, tripped and fell flat on his face. He struggled to get up, but his foot slipped, and he rolled uncontrollably towards the River of the Underworld.
With a "plop," he fell into the river.
On the river, a Soul-Devouring Beast on patrol saw a dark object fall down. Its eyes lit up, and it bit down on it, tossing and turning it around like a ball, having a great time.
The audience was silent.
The ghosts looked at Shen Gongbao with awe.
Chu Jiang nodded in satisfaction. This performance during the probationary period was perfect.
Recruiting continues.
The third interviewee was a refined-looking, pale-faced scholar who appeared to be completely weak.
"Name?"
"Student Ma Liang"
Special skills.
Ma Liang, somewhat embarrassed, took out a pen: "This student... can draw. I can draw whatever I want, and make it look like it."
Chu Jiang slapped his thigh, thinking, "When you're about to fall asleep, someone brings you a pillow."
"Great! I'm really in need of a UI designer! The skin for our court's app, and the PowerPoint presentations for the King of Hell, will all be yours from now on!"
He immediately approved the appointment: "You are hereby appointed as the Chief Designer and PPT Production Specialist of the Court's Art Department! Excellent compensation!"
Holding the stamped resume, Ma Liang was led aside, looking completely bewildered.
The job fair was in full swing, and the entire underworld was bustling with activity, like a marketplace.
Just then, a blinding golden light came from afar, and the neatly lined-up queue was instantly blasted apart by an invisible force.
A monk dressed in a brocade robe and holding a nine-ringed staff stepped into the front of the line, bathed in golden light.
His appearance was solemn and dignified, and his Buddha-light shone brightly, so bright that the ghosts around him could not open their eyes and cried out in pain.
"Amitabha Buddha." The monk chanted the Buddha's name, his voice as resounding as a great bell. "This humble monk is a Dharma protector under the Bodhisattva Ksitigarbha of the Western Paradise, and my Dharma name is Jin Chan."
His gaze fell on Chu Jiang, carrying a hint of scrutiny and displeasure.
"Are you Chu Jiang, the one who has set up his own court and disrupted the cycle of reincarnation?"
Chu Jiang picked up his thermos, blew on the goji berries inside, and ignored him.
The monk Jin Chan frowned and continued, "Charging for your ferry service is already an act of greed. Now, by expanding its application further and introducing memberships and credit systems, you are severing the path of goodness for all beings. This is truly a great evil!"
"I am here on the orders of the Buddha's teachings to persuade you to turn back from the dead! Immediately cease all business operations, disperse your demonic hordes, and return with me to Mount Ling to take refuge. Perhaps this will absolve you of all your sins."
Chu-Jiang slowly took a sip of tea, raised his eyelids, and pointed to a small sign that Li, the coder, had just put up next to him.
The sign reads in large characters: "Refuse Protestantism".
"Monk, did you see those four words?" Chu Jiang put down his cup. "Go out, turn left, and don't bother seeing me out."
"How dare you!" Monk Jin Chan roared in fury. "Stubborn fool! It seems that today I have no choice but to resort to Buddhist teachings to forcibly 'deliver' you!"
As soon as he finished speaking, the nine-ringed staff in his hand shone brightly with golden light, and a powerful Buddhist force pressed down on Chu Jiang.
But before this force could reach Chu Jiang, two figures blocked it from the left and right.
On the left is Bruch, dressed in a suit with his fangs slightly showing, radiating a faint holy light.
On the right is a huge Soul Devouring Beast wearing a "security" vest, emitting a threatening growl from its throat.
Further away, Shen Gongbao leaned against a pillar, slowly picking his teeth. His small eyes were fixed on the Golden Cicada Monk with a sinister smile, as if he was calculating from which angle to say, "Fellow Daoist, please wait."
"You heretics! How dare you obstruct this humble monk!"
With a flick of his wrist, the Golden Cicada Monk sent a purple-gold alms bowl flying into the air. It instantly expanded, its golden light intensifying, and was about to envelop Bruhe and the Soul-Devouring Beast.
But as soon as the alms bowl took flight, it wobbled three times, and the Buddha light on it seemed to have encountered its nemesis, quickly dimming.
The monk Jin Chan's expression changed. He realized that the laws of heaven and earth in this area seemed to be rejecting his Buddhist power.
"Here, my rules are more effective than your Buddhist teachings."
Chu Jiang's voice drifted over.
The monk Jin Chan suddenly turned around and saw that Chu Jiang had already stood up at some point.
He wasn't holding any magical weapon; he was just hefting a shiny black baseball bat.
There was a line of small characters engraved on that stick.
[Merit-Based Physical Salvation Tool]
Chu Jiang, carrying a baseball bat, grinned at the monk Jin Chan.
"Master, I've started a new course called 'Physics Legal Education,' which offers one-on-one instruction."
"Since we have a connection, I'll give you a free lesson today."